Blue Shield Employee Mashi Nyssen’s Story: Coming Together to Care for Our Parents

November 25, 2024

by Mashi Nyssen, Corporate Communications at Blue Shield of California

As National Family Caregivers Month unfolds in November, there are at least 53 million caregivers in the United States today. I want to share the story of my own family’s caregiving journey. We’re just one of countless families facing the reality that caring for aging parents often means making difficult, life-changing decisions. I hope that by sharing our experience, others may find encouragement and insight as they navigate their own caregiving paths.

For many families, the first signs that parents need help are subtle. In our case, the turning point came when my mother, despite being younger than my father, began experiencing widespread pain. After years of uncertainty, she was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia. We began accompanying her to doctors’ appointments and helping manage her treatments. The more we got involved, the clearer it became that both my parents needed additional support, as my father started forgetting basic things like how to return home after running errands.

At first, it was hard for my father to accept that he could no longer drive. The pandemic, which kept us at home for months, ultimately made it easier. But when the world began to return to normal, he wanted to get behind the wheel again, despite his forgetfulness. It was then that we realized he was experiencing “sundowning,” a condition where individuals with dementia have increased confusion and agitation in the late afternoon and evening.

With support from my father’s doctor, we were able to help my father manage his anxiety through medication. This experience taught me the importance of getting my parents the help they needed quickly — and it was a wake-up call that all families need to be prepared for such moments of change, even if they’re hard to accept.

Our family of five siblings, spread across two countries, realized we needed to come together to support our parents. Communication became key, especially as we balanced caregiving responsibilities and worked through misunderstandings about the changes our parents were going through. With clear communication and shared responsibilities, we ensured that no one person had to bear the full burden.

We also focused on the basics of caregiving: making sure our parents ate three meals a day, keeping up with their medications, and helping with daily tasks like laundry, grocery shopping and cooking. Thankfully, they remain strong enough to take care of themselves in some areas, but we’re always there to support them when needed. We are also fortunate that our parents have Medicare health coverage, so they have access to the range of medical services and medicines they need, easing concern about their care.

But caregiving is not just about physical tasks; it’s also about emotional support. Throughout this journey, we’ve leaned on each other — siblings supporting siblings and sharing the emotional load. The goal has always been to ensure our parents live with dignity and joy, even as their needs increase.

Despite the challenges, our family has maintained a rhythm, and we’ve learned to navigate caregiving with empathy and understanding. My father is 87, my mother is 77, and while they sometimes resist leaving the house, their humor and joy continue to shine.

Resources
For additional resources and support during National Family Caregivers Month, Blue Shield offers information and tools to help families provide care for their loved ones:

• Learn about Medicare coverage for dementia patients
• Learn about Medicare and how to enroll your loved ones
• Consider our Palliative Care program, home-based care services and support options for serious illnesses
• Check out this story from Blue Shield’s Dr. Malaika Stoll: 4 tips for managing the emotional challenges of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease

For more information, visit 2025 Medicare insurance plans | Blue Shield of California